Warring Inner Personalities
July 15th, 2008The past couple days have given me a taste of the Freelancer’s Life. The most notable lesson is that inspiration for personal writing projects starts beating me over the head when I have already committed my time to working on a project for a client. Figures, right?
The “why” of that situation is obvious: I’m a seasoned procrastinator who only comes up with brilliant ideas at the most inconvenient time. I’m also addicted to the adrenaline rush that comes when I have to kick things into high gear to meet a deadline. This has been a challenge for most of my life, and only in recent years have I begun to understand how to work with this potentially life-devastating problem. (I wonder if it’s in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders yet?)
I know that I need deadlines and a schedule of some sort to help me accomplish my desired tasks. Setting serious limits for myself works fairly well if I try hard enough. Distraction, however, is something that I still struggle with.
On Monday, I was very focused on my freelance work when a great story idea popped into my head. It was too good of an idea to ignore, so I stopped the clock on my billable hours to write it down. I fleshed out some of the details, which led me to the internet to check a fact, which led me to the dangerous distraction of Teh Interweb because, let’s face it, there is always something online that interests me. I’m an observer, researcher, thinker, writer. In the meantime, my freelance deadline was creeping closer and I was not being paid for my time.
Oh, but this isn’t a distraction, my Inner Enabler told me. This is research and crucial creative time for a story that will someday earn you millions and millions of dollars! This clickety-click-click Internet time is an investment in the future!
Meanwhile, my meek Inner Project Manager cleared her throat and politely interrupted: You probably don’t want to miss that deadline.
My Inner Enabler scoffed and said, There’s plenty of time! This is extremely important. Now go away, you mood killer!
(I blame the early 1990s TV show Herman’s Head for the visualization of warring inner personalities inside my head. I like to think that my neurological lump of a brain is more complex than the standard Angel-Devil usually depicted in cartoons and other fine entertainment. I haven’t really thought about all of the different warring personalities that exist in my head, but maybe I’ll start keeping track for fun. Oh, look, there’s my Inner Organizer. Let’s make a list, she likes to say. That handwritten list is kind of sloppy, so let’s type it out, okay? And then we can alphabetize and prioritize it. She can be just as overbearing as my Inner Enabler. Sometimes I think they’re working in cahoots.)
(Oh my, that last paragraph makes me sound a little crazy, doesn’t it?)
Anyway. It’s probably not surprising to note that I’m writing this post in lieu of doing a little more freelance work because the inspiration to write about it popped into my head and I decided that I had the time to write a short little post. (Oh, my Inner Project Manager? She’s basically a narcoleptic pushover.)
Moral of the story is that if I want to succeed at being a freelancer, I need to buckle down and shut out distractions as much as possible. Problems will still arise when I think of a story idea or remember that I forgot to make an important phone call… but I need to be more self-disciplined. I need to be able to take a quick break to jot down a couple notes and then get back to work.
Subscribe